I really should call you Mr. Elliot, but since the chances of us meeting face to face are slim, and my Mom is not in the room to reprimand me ( I'm past forty but that's not stopping her) I'm just gonna stick with Sam.
Sir, this letter is an apology for the rumors I am starting about you. In all fairness, it's the mayors fault. Don Ware. I believe you have met Don a time or two. He's a nice man. Apparently someone accused him of starting the rumor that their restaurant was closing down. (in all fairness, he did not) and they wrote a rather snarky letter to the local paper complaining about it. This got me thinking. . . how many times have rumors been started about me, or the people I love. I started thinking fondly of all these rumors.
There are the times I have gone out of business. The times I was starting a new business. My divorces! I have only been married once,(same guy , 24 years, still like him) but in Rumorsville, Gary and I have been divorced at least twice. My parents got divorced, then re-married each other in Rumorsville. Everyone was so glad to see them together again at my Brother's wedding! WE found out about the separation, divorce, reconciliation, and re-marriage at Bible study a few years later. (I was a little upset to think that Dad was to cheap to pay for another wedding ring.)
I am always so glad to find out what is going on in my life...It's just so hard to keep up!
Anyway. . . after finding out about the latest rumor (which ironically, the mayor never said, but it did turn out to be true, but whatever) I started thinking, what if I started a rumor that brought awareness to the art of quilting?
What if I used the Valley's Sam Elliot?
Everyone has “Sam” sightings, Sir. Sam was in Corvallis. Sam was in Lebanon. Sam goes to Eugene. Sam was getting gas. They saw Sam at whole foods. Sam was riding his bike. In a plane, in a train. . . eating green eggs and ham. The point is... You are everywhere, but no where, and it seems like the cool thing right now is a Sam spotting.
Then a lady came in and asked me if his wife (Katherine Ross) ever shopped at the store.
Quick as a draw I came up with a new rumor for Rumorsville.
“No. . . , Katherine has to much to with the knitting. And I believe she spins. But Sam. . . Sam is a HUGE Quilter. In fact, he has been making quilts for Quilts for Valor.”
“REALLY!!!!” she squealed.
“Oh yes.” I tried to look sober. “He hasn't been in much this week because I believe Tom Sellock is visiting this week and you know how close the two of them are. They needed to get a quick fishing trip in. I'm sure he'll be back in soon. He needs fabric for binding.”
“Why don't you ever post his picture?” She asked.
“That just wouldn't be right. He's entitled to his privacy. The man works hard.”
So, Sam. I apologize. I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the caffeine in my diet Pepsi. Maybe it was finding out my husband I were divorced again. (although, by the end of the day, word on the street was we had reconciled.) Maybe I just need to add more chocolate to my diet.
When word gets back to you that your proficient with a needle and thread and you like to thank the men and woman who have served our Country with Quilts. . . that, Sir, is my fault. Not the Mayors.
In return, you can start a rumor about me.
One of your Neighbors In the Willamette Valley
Yankee Dutch Quilting & Dry Goods